What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Are you more of a butt guy or a boob guy?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why are white guys the top consumers of interracial porn? What's the rationale behind this phenomenon?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

TEXT:

How do I get off Paxil?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What does it mean when a guy says he's afraid of falling for someone else after going through heartbreaks?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Owen Wilson Brings Clever, Funny “Stick” in Under Par - Roger Ebert

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What are the best self-care practices to improve mental health?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

As measles spreads across the Americas, outbreaks in Mexico and Canada have also turned deadly - CNN

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

How are max different from medical and minimum security prisons?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

The U.S. Economy Is Headed Toward an Uncomfortable Summer - MSN

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

'Look At That! Come On!': White Sox Announcer Incensed Over Benches-Clearing Rundown - Sports Illustrated

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Make Nazis afraid again!

What if Homelander turned out to be a good guy instead of an evil milk drinking manchild? Nobody seems to touch on this much.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!